


Forgive Me

by StarkRogers135



Series: Angel!Dean Winchester series [39]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Dean Winchester, Angelic Grace, Fear, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Lucifer | Nick, M/M, Protective Lucifer, Protective Sam Winchester, Scared Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkRogers135/pseuds/StarkRogers135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas comes back to Dean and tries to reason him and actually calms Dean clan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A STORY. THEY ARE NOT INDIVIDUAL STORIES. IT IS ALL ONE STORY!  
> START AT "Die Trying" AND WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH IT.  
> They are suppose to be chapters, but they were put into a Series form, sorry for not telling you guys.  
> Well, Have fun!

It had been about a day since Cas was sent back to Heaven and Sam was seeing that Dean actually wasn't that down in the dumps like he would usually be. He wouldn't mope around or hide from the world. He was Dean.

Sure, Dean was still worried about Cas but he tried not to let it get to him this time. He tried not to let the Cas-getting-pissed-and-yelling-at-him thing get to him either. But as soon as he heard Cas's flutter of wings, Dean was quiet and avoiding Cas's gaze.

Sam narrowed his eyes at the angel, going to send him back if he tries anything.

"Dean." Cas looked at his mate and took a step forward, only to have Dean step back.

Dean kept his gaze down to the floor, stepping away from Cas. He didn't want to get yelled at again or hurt again. He looked down at his still wrapped palm.

Cas glanced down at Dean's palm and sighed. He looked back up and took another step forward, being able to put his hand on his mate's shoulder, seeing him cringe and wince. Cas quickly healed Dean and took his hand off. The cut on Dean's palm was going to stay as a scar. It wasn't going to go away. "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas frowned.

Dean pulled away from Cas and tripped over his own feet, falling back on to the couch with a grunt. He darted his eyes away from Cas, putting up an invisible barrier with his Grace to keep Cas away from him.

Cas sighed and looked down, "If you want me to leave, I will leave and not come back." He said quietly.

At that, the barrier was sudden let up but he didn't look up still. "Don't." he said shakily, looking down at his hand.

Cas stood still, looking at Dean. He didn't know if he should move closer or stay put.

Dean looked up at his brother. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked, though having that stay-close-in-case-something-happens look on his face.

Sam glanced over at Cas before leaving the room.

"Cas, I'm sorry," Dean said quietly. "I really...really am."

"No, Dean. I am sorry." Cas frowned and took a step closer. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did."

Dean shook his head slowly. "You were mad and I understood that," he said. "You had all the right to do what you did."

Cas hesitantly sat down next to Dean and looked at him, "I don't understand why you think I can't fend for myself."

"I just really worry about you..." Dean shrugged weakly.

"Dean, you shouldn't worry so much." Cas shook his head.

"I know..." Dean whispered, trembling slightly and shut his eyes tightly.

Cas slowly reached his hand over and placed it on Dean's shoulder gently.

Dean didn't shrug Cas's hand off. He just simply stayed still. He didn't know what to do anymore right now.

Cas hesitantly moved closer to Dean and pulled his mate into his arms. He didn't know if Dean would pull away, but he took the chance.

Dean screwed his eyes shut and fell into Cas's arms, his body shaking slightly from the struggle to not cry.

Cas kissed the top of his mate's hair, "I'm sorry." He whispered, burying his face in Dean's short, dirty blond hair.

Dean clung to Cas like it was the last thing that he would do. He didn't want to let go but he also didn't want Cas to get pissed off again.

Cas pulled Dean back with a grunt, "No. Don't leave." He said quietly.

Dean narrowed his eyes. "I don't want you getting mad again though..." Dean whimpered.

"I won't get mad if you stay." Cas smiled slightly and ran a hand through Dean's hair. "I promise that I won't act like that again. I keep my promises, Dean."

"What if you get mad again because I'm clingy again?" Dean asked with a shaky voice and looked up, tears falling down his cheeks now.

Cas gently placed his hand on the side of Dean's face, wiping away the tears with his thumb, "I won't."

Dean hesitated, but leaned into Cas's hand, looking at him. "Promise?" he asked.

"I promise." Cas nodded with a small smile.

Dean pressed his face into Cas's chest, gripping his jacket tightly. He was so damn glad he heard Cas say that.

Cas held Dean close and sighed. He didn't want to hurt Dean anymore.

Eventually, Dean had dozed off and was in a light sleep, still laying on Cas's chest with his grip on his angel's coat gone, his arm hanging off the side of the couch.

Cas watched Dean as he slept and looked up as Sam walked into the room and sit down, watching Cas, "Hello, Sam."

"Hey, Cas." Sam murmured. Sam nodded to his brother, "He alright now?" He asked.

Cas nodded, "I believe so." He glanced down at Dean before looking at Sam again.

"It was bad, Cas." Sam frowned, "I've never seen Dean that scared before. Sure, I've seen him scared of you on rare occasions, but never like that..."

Cas frowned, looking down, "I didn't mean to go off like that. I was pissed. He shouldn't..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Dean worries too much..."

Sam sighed heavily, "He thinks it's his job to worry about the people he cares about." He muttered softly, leaning back in the chair, watching as his brother shifted a little in his sleep.

Cas looked at Dean and sighed again, "I just don't know what to do anymore. I have these anger moments where I want to lash out, but I hold it back just enough. I guess I didn't do that this time..."

"I know." Sam said quietly, rubbing his face firmly, "When he sent you away, Dean was truly scared and wouldn't even talk. If he did, he barely said anything."

Cas looked at Sam and frowned, "He has grown too attached to me."

Sam sighed, "He has with so many others, believe me." He mumbled.

"Like who?" Cas tilted his head to the side a bit, squinting his eyes slightly.

"Lisa, Ben, Cassie. Many people before we even met, or heard, or you." Sam murmured.

Cas nodded, "I have heard of them." He looked down at Dean. "What do you think he would do of I left completely?"

Sam frowned and creased his eyebrows, "He'd go crazy trying to find you, Cas." He muttered quietly.

"But he has you, doesn't he? He shouldn't worry about me so much when he has you to worry about." Cas looked at Sam.

"Dean is your mate, though, Cas." Sam said, "You can't just leave him..." Sam looked down at his brother when he saw him move in discomfort, hearing him whimpering Cas's name.

"Yes, but if I take away the connection of mates then he can't find me." Cas shook his head.

Sam glared as the angel. "Then he'd really go crazy with trying to find you."

"C-Cas..." Dean whimpered in his sleep, shaking in pain and he dreamed that he fell.

Cas held Dean close, rubbing his mate's back soothingly, "Sam, he's going to get himself killed if he stays an angel any longer. Heaven wants to kill him and so does Hell. Sure, it's always been like that, but they know exactly where he is now."

"He's been fine for nearly a year and a half, though." Sam said, "We can't find how to fix this since Crowley's dead."

Dean whimpered again, gripping Cas's pants leg, shaking.

"I can take his Grace." Cas said blankly.

"That would only hurt him, dammit." Sam scowled firmly, glaring at the full angel. "Besides, you don't know how that would effect him."

"It wouldn't hurt him. It didn't hurt me when Naomi took my Grace." Cas shook his head.

"Cas, Dean is still part human. You don't know what it would do to him, alright?" Sam sighed, "Just leave Dean's Grace alone."

"Sam, do you not realize that I am an angel?" Cas raised an eyebrow with a bit of sass in his tone.

"Yeah, but you're not part human, now are you?" Sam asked. "No. You're a full angel and Dean is half angel/half human."

Cas narrowed his eyes at the moose-sized man, "That may be, but I can also heal him if he gets hurt." He ground out through his teeth.

"Cas, just leave it." Sam huffed, looking at the full angel, "Please."

Cas frowned and nodded a bit, "Fine."

Lucifer appeared next to Sam, stroking the bigger man's hair, "Hey, Sam." He smiled.

Sam smiled and looked up at Lucifer, "Hey." He said softly.

Cas rolled his eyes with a sigh then looked down at Dean.

Lucifer shot a glare towards Cas before looking back at Sam, running a hand through his brown hair, "So, I see Castiel came back..." He narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah." Sam murmured, leaning back in his chair comfortably.

Lucifer frowned as he looked at Sam, "What's wrong?" He could feel that Sam was upset about _something_.

"Just worried about Dean." Sam sighed weakly and looked up at the Devil.

Lucifer reached his hand over and placed it on the side of Sam's face, rubbing his cheek gently with his thumb, "He has Castiel back now. Why are you worried?" His eyebrows creased together in confusion.

Sam shrugged weakly, "I dunno. I always am." He said.

Lucifer sighed and nodded, "I know, but I thought there was a specific reason."

Sam shook his head, "No. No reason, Luc'..."

Lucifer pulled his hand back, "Okay. Well, what do you suppose we do now?"

Sam shrugged again and looked at his brother then to Cas, "I have no idea actually..." He mumbled.

Lucifer looked over at the two, seeing Cas rubbing Dean's back slowly and gently, soothing the half-angel back to sleep.

Dean grunted quietly in his sleep, the soothing gestures from Cas calming his nightmare.

Cas smiled a bit, happy that he was helping Dean sleep.

Lucifer looked at Sam again, "Do you want to leave those two alone?"

Sam looked up at Lucifer. He frowned and looked back at his brother and Cas, "Yeah." He said quietly.

Lucifer jumped off the table and pulled Sam to his feet gently, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Sam nodded and took Lucifer's hand in his own, the Devil leading them out of the room.

Dean shifted uncomfortably again after ten minutes, gripping Cas's pant leg.

Lucifer walked outside with Sam and looked up, "It's dark."

Cas's attention was immediately drawn to Dean. He stroked his half-angel's hair gently.

Sam looked up into the sky, "We can lay down and look at the stars." He smiled.

Dean suddenly jerked awake shakily, his eyes darting around the livingroom.

Lucifer nodded, "That sounds nice." He smiled also.

"Dean, it's okay." Cas tried to calm his mate.

Sam smiled and hugged his hoodie closer to his body. When Lucifer snapped his fingers, there was a blanket on the grass. Sam laid down next to Lucifer, laying his head on his chest. 

"I-I fell..." Dean whimpered. "I-I don't wanna fall, Cas." he whined, pressing close to Cas.

Lucifer smiled and looked up into the starry, "It is nice outside."

Cas's eyebrows creased together, "What do you mean?"

Sam hummed sleepily, listening to Lucifer's heartbeat, "Mm..." He agreed tiredly.

"I...I have a dream that...that I was...was falling and never stopped. It was actually hurting because my wings were getting burned off, feather by feather..." Dean whimpered.

Lucifer looked down at Sam and started stroking the taller man's hair softly.

"That won't happen, Dean. You can't fall, remember? You're Hell's angel. They can only take your grace away and even if they do, it won't hurt." Cas shook his head.

Sam nuzzled into the Lucifer's touch and chest, loving the feeling in his hair.

"Wh-When Crowley was alive, he said that it hurt even _more_ than when an angel falls from Heaven." Dean shook slightly.

"Crowley lies. So if I were to, just saying, take your Grace away, what would you do?" Cas raised an eyebrow.

Dean looked up at Cas. "Cas, don't." Dean said dryly.

Cas sighed and looked at Dean, "It was just a question."

"I know," Dean huffed. "Just...don't do it..."

"And why not?" Cas sat up, still looking at his mate.

"Because..." Dean tried to find a way to reply, studying the floor. "Because I feel like I can be more of a help like this."

"You were more help without wings. I never wanted to day anything, but...you're more reckless and in the way now."

"I'm not in the way..." Dean muttered quietly and narrowed his eyes. He tried to pull away but felt Cas hold him close again.

"Dean, listen to me. This Grace has caused you to be in the way. Doing things that I can take care of. You shouldn't be able to do any of these things." Cas narrowed his eyes then let go as Dean pulled away again.

"No, Cas. _You_ listen," Dean said firmly. "I saved your life _and_ Sam's. Yours twice! I barely get in the way and I am a large help, thanks."

"You almost killed me one of those times and I wouldn't have needed my ass saved if you weren't an angel." Cas replied just as firmly.

Dean winced but tried not to show it. "It wasn't my fault Crowley took you for God damn bait for me!" Dean growled and was gone in a harsh flutter on wings, appearing in their bedroom and curled up in the bed.

Cas sighed and appeared on the bed, sitting next to Dean, "I was meaning that I was going to kill Crowley, but you went after him and did my job. I don't like it when other people do the work I'm suppose to do." He narrowed his eyes, holding back a strong urge to lash out by gripping his jeans tightly.

Dean stayed quiet, his eyes trained on the blankets in front of him. Dean didn't want his Grace gone. He wouldn't be able to sense Cas anymore. Dean really did not want that.

"You've become too attached to me, Dean. Taking away your Grace or taking away the power to sense me would be for the best." Cas looked down at his mate.

"Don't," Dean said shakily and hesitatingly rolled over to look up at him with pleading eyes. "Cas, please don't."

Cas acted as if he wasn't fazed by the way Dean looked at him, "Or I can have my Grace taken away and destroyed." He said calmly even though he was shaking on the inside.

"No," Dean choked out. "I won't get in the way anymore, Cas. Alright? I won't be in the way."

"If I have a job to do, you leave it alone!" Cas bit out. "Are we clear?" He narrowed his eyes.

Dean winced at the harshness in Cas's voice but still nodded. "Yeah. Of course." he whispered.

"Good." Cas's voice grew soft again then he smiled.

Dean swallowed and nodded narrowing his eyes again and laid down once more.

"What happened to the Dean I fell in love with?" Cas frowned.

Dean looked up at him, giving him a sad look. "I dunno," he said quietly. "Lay with me?" Dean murmured.

Cas hesitated for a moment before laying down, resting his head on Dean's chest. He looked up at his mate and sighed, "I'm sorry that I've been snapping and upset lately."

"S'fine..." Dean sighed and kissed Cas's hair with shut eyes. "I just hate us arguing..." he whispered, burying his face into Cas's soft hair.

"As do I. Ever since you killed Crowley when I was suppose to, I've just been...holding in anger. I don't mean to snap at you or lash out. I definitely didn't mean to scare you like I did." Cas made a whimpering sound.

"You didn't scare me." Dean lied, hoping Cas didn't catch the fib.

"I know you're lying. Sam told me that he's never seen you so scared before." Cas looked up, nuzzling his mate's neck with his nose gently. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

Dean closed his eyes tightly. "I'm fine now." Dean whispered, pressing his face into his mate's dark hair.

Cas sighed and pulled Dean closer, "I love you, Dean." He buried his face into his mate's chest.

"Love you, too." Dean said shakily, wrapping his small, brown wings around them both.

Cas frowned slightly, hearing the shaking in Dean voice.

Lucifer was about to speak until he heard a small snore, looking down to see Sam sound asleep.

Dean tried to take deep breaths to calm himself, trying not to break down. He wouldn't. Not again. Not in front of Cas again.


End file.
